Selena’s Story

Posted on by Renee Morales

"When I was 4 my dad left us. Soon after that, my mom dropped me and my 4 siblings off at daycare and just never came back. The owners of the daycare called CPS and they called my grandparents, who I didn't really know, but they took us in. A year later, my mom came back but she was in and out of our lives and eventually her drug problem got really bad.

When I started elementary school, my grandparents let my mom have weekend visitations and we stayed with her and her boyfriend at a motel. I would help her clean rooms because that was how she paid to stay there. Eventually she left us again and when she came back, she had no money and nowhere to go. My oldest brother started doing drugs with my mom and he would beat me and my little brother when my grandparents would go out. Sometimes he made us fight each other and if we didn't, he would hurt us more. I remember being in the 7th grade and not being able to sleep because she was up all night drinking. She was still drinking with her friends the next day while I was getting ready for work. Some nights she'd leave me alone but others she'd come in to my room screaming. She would say I was ugly and dumb and try to fight me. I remember her telling me she couldn't wait until I was 18 so she could beat the crap out of me.

I never really got to be a kid and I never really got to hang out with friends because my grandparents were afraid I'd end up like my mother. My grandmother died unexpectedly my senior year of high school and soon after that, I found out I was pregnant. I was so sad and confused. I wasn't ready, but I got myself together. I had to move in with my boyfriend because we didn't have a house and my grandpa said he couldn't live there anymore. We got an apartment and I finished school early at an alternative school.

The reason I am so gentle with my son is because I know what it's like to be hurt and neglected and to have no one to turn to. I never want him to think he isn't loved and cherished. He means everything to me. I don't want him to know disappointment and sadness like I did. That's why I try so hard to be a good mom to him."

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